Every once in a while, when I am searching for answers to medical questions, I have to take time to sit back and relax. I subscribe to the Chiari newsletter where people post valuable information and sometimes, someone will post something that pokes fun at the frustating, sometimes complicated world of Chiari. Thank you, Joanna, for being one of those people. It makes my journey to the truth a little less painful and gives me a reason to smile. Although I read it in my Chiari Support group, it hits home to anyone who has stumbled through the "medical roadblocks" that our group has.
Summary: As an assignment for school, Joanna had to define and use these words in sentences...she just had a little fun with it **I have here my favorite sentences**.
By Joanna of WACMA|
profane, adj.: irreverent
It has been proven that after certain types of brain damage some patients
find themselves using the most profane language because natural inhibitions
have somehow been affected to the point of nonexistence.
dejection, n.: discouragement
With utter dejection, the scarecrow resigned himself to the fact that he
would never have a brain - not because the good wizard wouldn't give him one,
but because none of today's leading neurosurgeons would be able to
successfully connect nerves to hay.
haughty, adj.: proud; disdainful of something
Having been the first person to ever perform a full craniectomy without
negative repercussions, the doctor became unbearably haughty about his
plunder, n.: goods seized, especially during wartime
"Yargh! we be the dreaded Pirates of the Cerebellum, come to plunder any
brainstems that ye scurvy dogs might be a-hidin away in that there head o'
execrations, n.: angry words; curses
In a heated temper, Joanna fled the room shouting execrations and
throwing magazines when her doctor withheld her MRI scans.
reproved, v.: reprimanded
The young and naïve medical student did not realize that the spinal cord
couldn't be sliced into without repercussions; it was a very unfortunate
mistake, especially for the patient; the student was strongly reproved by the
consultation, n.: meeting to discuss or plan
Due to the development of Rasmussen's syndrome, it was necessary to have
a consultation with the famous Ben Carson to decide how to go about the
delicate task of removing half of the brain.
sundry, adj.: some
After fervently sorting through a few autoclave bins and sundry other
biohazard waste, the rookie surgeon found the crucial tiny bolt that would
hold the patient's vertebrae together.
relent, v.: soften
Occasionally the doctors would relent from their constant barrage of
diagnostic tests and cranial scans, but only long enough for the poor patient
to go eat or perhaps use the bathroom.
discourse, n.: conversation
After much discourse with other professionals in the field, Dr. Joanna
Reid arrived at the conclusion that the patient was indeed hemorrhaging just
below the cerebral cortex; surgery was impossible to avoid.
confederates, n.: allies; persons who share a common purpose
While the various neurosurgeons at Chicago Hope could be thought of as
confederates, they really weren't since they sabotage each other's patients
by putting poison in the central lines.
comprised, v.: included
Apparently her problems went well beyond mere whiplash, and the
multiple cranial conditions that comprised her overall symptoms would have to
be dealt with one at a time.
wearisome, adj.: fatiguing; exhausting
After the radical hemispherectomy, the patient felt quite wearisome.
tedious, adj.: tiring; dreary
The poor neurosurgery resident had been up for 9 days straight, and what
would normally have been a very exciting resection of a brainstem glioma,
could only be thought of as tedious.
lamentable, adj.: regrettable; distressing
Over the years her most lamentable condition turned around beyond
anyone's dreams, and, despite having been without short-term memory or gag
reflexes for a few weeks, she was able to make a full recovery.
entreated, v.: asked sincerely; prayed to
After the young medical student caused a fatal cut to the man's delicate
medulla oblongata in the operating room, the student entreated the chief
resident for mercy.
melancholy, adj.: sad; sorrowful
After the death of their child due to the severe intracranial bleed,
their melancholy was inconsolable.
decrepit, adj.: run down; worn out by age or use
At NeurologyLand, even the most decrepit of senior citizens can benefit
from our state-of-the-art nervous bypass packs; if they can't walk, we'll zap
them until they can!
savory, adj.: appetizing; agreeable
After slicing open the brain that had been obviously affected by the
encephalitis, the last thing I would describe it as is savory.
affliction, n.: pain, hardship
Unfortunately, when you have an affliction of the nervous system, it
causes difficult symptoms all over the entire body that can sometimes be
bewitching, adj.: enticing; irresistible
Watching the MRI display rover over the patient as it scanned the head
had an almost bewitching effect; the radiologists stared blank-faced scan
assailant, n.: attacker
And in other news today, a masked assailant, having broken into the
Emory University hospital, was confronted with a most un-welcomed opposition
as three resident medical students took him down with a defibrillator at full
distraction, n.: mental disturbance or distress
commodious, adj.: spacious
Many patients find that the new open magnet MRI's are much more commodious and generally more inviting that the dark and confined tubes of
copious, adj.: great amounts of
Only after copious amounts of external electric stimuli could the neurobiologists detect any residual synaptic response from the otherwise dead
improvident, adj.: careless; not providing for the future
The student's improvident actions proved to be most detrimental as he recklessly cut away the dura without providing a clean incision for later
Right Click on the icon to adjust sounds.
Joanna is also manages the support group for WACMA Kids. Her story can be found here
Back to my Medical Page
Midi "Moonbeams" is used with permission and is copyright © 2001 Bruce DeBoer
More of his beautiful music is available in MP3 format here