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Every once in a while, when I am searching for answers to medical questions, I have to take time to sit back and relax. I subscribe to the Chiari newsletter where people post valuable information and sometimes, someone will post something that pokes fun at the frustating, sometimes complicated world of Chiari. Thank you, Joanna, for being one of those people. It makes my journey to the truth a little less painful and gives me a reason to smile. Although I read it in my Chiari Support group, it hits home to anyone who has stumbled through the "medical roadblocks" that our group has.

Summary: As an assignment for school, Joanna had to define and use these words in sentences...she just had a little fun with it **I have here my favorite sentences**.

By Joanna of WACMA


profane, adj.: irreverent

     It has been proven that after certain types of brain damage some patients find themselves using the most profane language because natural inhibitions have somehow been affected to the point of nonexistence.


dejection, n.: discouragement

    With utter dejection, the scarecrow resigned himself to the fact that he would never have a brain - not because the good wizard wouldn't give him one, but because none of today's leading neurosurgeons would be able to successfully connect nerves to hay.


haughty, adj.: proud; disdainful of something

    Having been the first person to ever perform a full craniectomy without negative repercussions, the doctor became unbearably haughty about his success.


plunder, n.: goods seized, especially during wartime

    "Yargh! we be the dreaded Pirates of the Cerebellum, come to plunder any brainstems that ye scurvy dogs might be a-hidin away in that there head o' your'n!"


execrations, n.: angry words; curses

    In a heated temper, Joanna fled the room shouting execrations and throwing magazines when her doctor withheld her MRI scans.


reproved, v.: reprimanded

    The young and nave medical student did not realize that the spinal cord couldn't be sliced into without repercussions; it was a very unfortunate mistake, especially for the patient; the student was strongly reproved by the attending physician.


consultation, n.: meeting to discuss or plan

    Due to the development of Rasmussen's syndrome, it was necessary to have a consultation with the famous Ben Carson to decide how to go about the delicate task of removing half of the brain.


sundry, adj.: some

    After fervently sorting through a few autoclave bins and sundry other biohazard waste, the rookie surgeon found the crucial tiny bolt that would hold the patient's vertebrae together.


relent, v.: soften

    Occasionally the doctors would relent from their constant barrage of diagnostic tests and cranial scans, but only long enough for the poor patient to go eat or perhaps use the bathroom.


discourse, n.: conversation

    After much discourse with other professionals in the field, Dr. Joanna Reid arrived at the conclusion that the patient was indeed hemorrhaging just below the cerebral cortex; surgery was impossible to avoid.


confederates, n.: allies; persons who share a common purpose

    While the various neurosurgeons at Chicago Hope could be thought of as confederates, they really weren't since they sabotage each other's patients by putting poison in the central lines.


comprised, v.: included

    Apparently her problems went well beyond mere whiplash, and the multiple cranial conditions that comprised her overall symptoms would have to be dealt with one at a time.


wearisome, adj.: fatiguing; exhausting

    After the radical hemispherectomy, the patient felt quite wearisome.


tedious, adj.: tiring; dreary

    The poor neurosurgery resident had been up for 9 days straight, and what would normally have been a very exciting resection of a brainstem glioma, could only be thought of as tedious.


lamentable, adj.: regrettable; distressing

    Over the years her most lamentable condition turned around beyond anyone's dreams, and, despite having been without short-term memory or gag reflexes for a few weeks, she was able to make a full recovery.


entreated, v.: asked sincerely; prayed to

    After the young medical student caused a fatal cut to the man's delicate medulla oblongata in the operating room, the student entreated the chief resident for mercy.


melancholy, adj.: sad; sorrowful

    After the death of their child due to the severe intracranial bleed, their melancholy was inconsolable.


decrepit, adj.: run down; worn out by age or use

    At NeurologyLand, even the most decrepit of senior citizens can benefit from our state-of-the-art nervous bypass packs; if they can't walk, we'll zap them until they can!


savory, adj.: appetizing; agreeable

    After slicing open the brain that had been obviously affected by the encephalitis, the last thing I would describe it as is savory.


affliction, n.: pain, hardship

    Unfortunately, when you have an affliction of the nervous system, it causes difficult symptoms all over the entire body that can sometimes be irreversible.


bewitching, adj.: enticing; irresistible

    Watching the MRI display rover over the patient as it scanned the head had an almost bewitching effect; the radiologists stared blank-faced scan after scan.


assailant, n.: attacker

    And in other news today, a masked assailant, having broken into the Emory University hospital, was confronted with a most un-welcomed opposition as three resident medical students took him down with a defibrillator at full charge.


distraction, n.: mental disturbance or distress


commodious, adj.: spacious

    Many patients find that the new open magnet MRI's are much more commodious and generally more inviting that the dark and confined tubes of old.


copious, adj.: great amounts of

    Only after copious amounts of external electric stimuli could the neurobiologists detect any residual synaptic response from the otherwise dead brain.


improvident, adj.: careless; not providing for the future

    The student's improvident actions proved to be most detrimental as he recklessly cut away the dura without providing a clean incision for later sutures.

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Joanna is also manages the support group for WACMA Kids. Her story can be found here

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Midi "Moonbeams" is used with permission and is copyright 2001 Bruce DeBoer More of his beautiful music is available in MP3 format here